When a leaf fell

When a leaf fell

A yellow leaf on a branch

Saw the few yet green

Somehow did not see

The many that were yellow.

Knowing intuitively

and fearing,

It’s time has come –

For the Great Fall.

Wondered,

Am I ready for the call?

It looked only at the green leaves

envying their vibrancy

Why did I turn yellow at all?

The fall, is now inevitable,

It recognised.

The branch was thrusting it out.

The leaf so wanted to hold on,

But, alas!

The force was only from one side -the branch.

The yellow leaf pondered quickly,

Can I trust the air?

Will it take me to a place

Where I rest and be embraced

With warmth and no fear?

And it shuddered, when it wondered,

Should I surrender to the wind?

Or, Should I resist the wind?

A question it had no answer for.

Those already fallen could not reach the branch anymore,

and relate their tale of how it felt when they fell

And those on the tree, did not even suspect the fall.

And then,

It started falling…

And the yellow leaf suddenly realized,

The only resistance it could offer is the weight of its own self that it carried..

The wind was kind,

as the leaf dried up, weight gone..

It knew instantly..

it will survive, without the tree!

Merged with the soil, it will nourish the tree..

 

© Deepti Vishwanath.  Photo courtesy- Vishwanath Tekur

Samsāra – The vortex

Samsāra – The vortex

I have a few days, to do nothing. So I decided to take a dip into my ocean of thoughts, and see if I emerge surfing or scathed!

I prefer to view life impersonally. For one simple reason, I see nothing happening to anyone which has not happened to someone else before, ever! Thus, personalising experiences, I have been a bit wary off. It certainly does not mean I do not recognise them. It just implies, I would rather see myself as one amongst the many out there having a similar experience. Just as my name is not my unique identity, so too, neither are my experiences. Yet, i too, as everyone else, would want to know what makes me unhappy? What do I truly want? What makes me insecure? Or have anxiety, of what? Why would I feel lonely? Or Depressed? And instead of wanting answers or a way out for myself, I choose a different route!

I want to know, yes but I want to know, Why do we as mankind experience more strife than joy, more hurts than cheer, more depressions, anxieties, fears, than more fun, happiness, peace, calm, love, caring, empathy. Are we individualised, or individually targeted to receive these? Or are these mere perceptions? Or are we somewhere missing out on something which can eliminate – the vortex?

These are two different ways. In the personal method, I quickly submerge myself, I drown faster. Feel lonely, helpless. Seeking and waiting mercy, since I feel individually targeted. I find reasons. Why am I going through the lows? What have I done to deserve it? Etc. This approach itself is the problem. Since it strengthens my vision of separation from the universe. The felt alienation is the source of a lot of human ills.

Whereas, when I see that firstly, I am not individually targeted to receive some unhappiness, on the contrary, there are always people who have gone through or are going through worse, I instantly prevent slipping into the vortex. Where is that one human who has never experienced unhappiness, dejection, fear, anxiety, loneliness etc. Would then the answer to freedom from these lie in an individual outlook?

These ‘real’ experiences which a human is susceptible to and experiences them as demons in and of his life, are all encompassed under one umbrella, called SAMSĀRA.    The term envelopes all the feelings which amount to saying, “My life sucks!” “I see no end to my struggles” etc. It is the vortex, which simply destroys the individual.

A factual understanding of human life as seen around, keeps one objective.

It is the very not knowing oneself, the human worth, the human potential, the ignorance of self worth and self potential begins the force, which ultimately becomes the vortex.

I dive into my ocean of thoughts and sail, if I remain objective. But, am instantly scathed, if I make my any expereince as exclusive to me!

May the dark force of samsāra be destroyed by the light of the One.

 

Deepti Vishwanath

Free

Free

Bound are we by our thoughts,

Or else,

Who else binds us?

 

The vast that I am,

without a beginning and an end,

birthless, deathless, even changeless;

I reduce it to a chamber,

the body with its ever changingness,

I identify!

Who else will come and

release me?

 

The infinite love that I am,

I reduce it to smitten-ness;

Who else will caress me?

 

O Thought!

The pure that I am,

Is felt sullied, by

the negatives in your ways that I loop in!

Who else will purify me?

 

The All that I am,

is felt like, “I am nothing!”

Who else will illumine me?

 

O Thought!

I leave your miserable ways,

to keep me bound.

Here. Take your place, where it belongs.

and let me reign my kingdom.

 

© Deepti Vishwanath